“32 Reasons Why Your Life Will Be Better When You Subscribe Via RSS”

  1. You'll become better looking. By just reading my words in your feed reader you will instantly become much much better looking.
  2. You will become EXTREMELY COOL. Because when you read my content you become very cool instantly WHEN you read it in an RSS reader after obviously subscribing. When you subscribe to my RSS you get the latest tips strategies techniques whatevers to empower you to build a more attractive blog, write more intelligent posts and so create a blog more coolerer than anyone ever.
  3. You will become more happier. Generally speaking, my phantasmagorical content help's you do cool.
  4. You will become more happier. Generally speaking, my phantasmagorical content help's you do cool things, faster and better than anyone else: This will make you really happy.
  5. You will be subscribed to the coolest RSS feed in the universe. Its so attractive and immensely intelligent and incredibly cool. Its fresh Its different its the AlanWho RSS feed.
  6. You will read only positive posts. As much as I love to be some what aggressive I am not a negative person. So your not gonna get negative blog posts. The stuff here is all positive.
  7. You will have 1 new friend (who is the most cool most attractive and most intelligent friend you will have ever). When you subscribe to my RSS feed you will have a new friend.
  8. You will save time. I like to get to the point. I don't want to waste your time therefore I wont. NEXT.
  9. You have the power. If you don't like it you can unsubscribe at any time.
  10. You and me will go places. Oprah Winfrey once said. “Only surround yourself with those who take you higher.” We're going to the stars and beyond compadre!”
  11. You will talk to me I will talk to you. I respond to your fucking comments.
  12. You will read only gorgeous posts. Go look at my blog posts they are not poorly formatted.
  13. You will pay your favorite price. Free innit?
  14. You will become famous. Everyone will check out your blog and ask “Wow. Your blog! What the hell happened? It looks so good! How did you do X how did you get that thing to do that thing over there? Your content wow – I saw that on the front page of Digg two minutes ago, if I gave you $1,000,000 would you please give me your autograph?”
  15. You will have 1 new friend (who is the most cool most attractive and most intelligent friend you will have ever). When you subscribe to my RSS feed you will have a new friend.
  16. You will have something to look at when everything else is boring. When everything else on the internet sucks you can just look at my RSS feed and be instantly mesmerized in a positive way.
  17. You are getting the full package. My rss feed provides full posts and not excerpts.
  18. You are getting an extravaganza delivered to your RSS reader. While its for bloggers ... I blog about all sorts of great shit. You got blog posts. Pages and you got videos. I am not too narrow.
  19. You are getting a 100% Laughter Guarantee. If I don't at least make you giggle you will get a full refund (just remember the recommended retail price is zero my friend).
  20. Your bank details, Your credit card number will NOT be sold to my friend Desmond Emmanuel in Nigeria for 1 million Nigerian dollars. When you subscribe I wont put in a complicated script embedded into the RSS feed that captures all of your personal information including whether in order to sell that information on to my good friend Desmond in Nigeria for 1 million dollars. Honestly the thought never crossed my mind.
  21. Your blog will change for the better. I might not be able to change your life but I can change your blog.
  22. Yours truly does not hide behind his copy. I am who I am who I am. I don't hide behind my writing. If it says I wrote the post - I wrote it. I didn't hire some muppet who thinks he is me.
  23. Yours truly only writes about RELEVANT stuff. None of my content is ever irrelevant. Even if I am publishing a post about my trip to the supermarket its still relvevant. Ha ha
  24. Yours truly blog post's are BLOG POSTS not SALES PICTCHES! This blog is not a sales letter! While I like me. I am cool. I know that you are cooler. So I do my best to keep self-promotion to an absolute minimum. Do you like Ferraris? What? Thats not a reason. Yes it is compadre! Do you like Ferraris? If I gave you one would you drive it? Yes ok pollution is a problem how about if I gave you 1 million dollars cash would you like that? Ok. Well what I am getting at is that my blog is the Ferrari of blogging, as much I would love to give you 1 million dollars I would rather just give you my blog to read and interact with - its worth much more. The bottom line here is the content here is high quality. We are talking tactics, strategies, secrets and more much more.
  25. Yours truly will not publish filler posts ever. Up until now I have had no guest posts. Just me myself and I. Not saying I wont ever have a guest post. But if I do it's because they are cool very cool extremely cool. I am not going to have guest posts from people just to add "filler content" capiche compadre?
  26. Yours truly blog post titles will never be “SEX!”. No. I will never publish a post with the title "Sex" and then write "Well, now that I've got your attention!" in the first sentence. That wouldn't be cool.
  27. Yours truly will limit advertising to a minumum. Ok I have one adsense unit below posts but thats it. I could have 3 on each and every page. But I don't.
  28. Yours truly does not hide behind his copy. I am who I am who I am. I don't hide behind my writing. If it says I wrote the post - I wrote it. I didn't hire some muppet who thinks he is me.
  29. Yours truly will not publish filler posts ever. Up until now I have had no guest posts. Just me myself and I. Not saying I wont ever have a guest post. But if I do it's because they are cool very cool extremely cool. I am not going to have guest posts from people just to add "filler content" capiche compadre?
  30. Your bank details, Your credit card number will NOT be sold to my friend Desmond Emmanuel in Nigeria for 1 million Nigerian dollars. When you subscribe I wont put in a complicated script embedded into the RSS feed that captures all of your personal information including whether in order to sell that information on to my good friend Desmond in Nigeria for 1 million dollars. Honestly the thought never crossed my mind.
  31. You know it's just meant to be - it's fate. You came to this website because it's part of your destiny. You were meant to click on the “Subscribe to RSS feed” on this website. It's meant to be. If you don't you will never fulfill both your true potential to be as cool as you can possibly be and fulfill your pre-determined destiny. Compadre, the choice is yours. Do you want to fulfill your potential and become very cool extremely cool or do you want to spend your life knowing you have a blog? I'll leave it up to you. Have a good one!
  32. You really want to be the 2nd type of person in the world. There are two types of people in the world. The first type is what you probably are right now. The second type is what you are destined to become. What's the difference? Good question. Ok. It all comes down to this ... The first type of person can never ever become EXTREMELY COOL. The second type of person can. The first type is not an RSS subcriber to the AlanWho rss feed. The second type of person, the more cool, the more attractive and more intelligenter person is. Do you want to become extremely cool and become that 2nd type of person or what? Make it happen you've either got it or you haven't.

Make Your RSS Reader Cool