A common misconception is that every great romance starts with a great kiss.

The truth is every great romance starts with a great romance.

A kiss, the right kind, and done often, elevates the relationship to another level.

Thoughts of kissing start as early as our preteens, and therefore I would safely estimate that there are more wannabee kissers than wannabee millionaires. That's a LOT of people.

I was no different.

Here is a list (based on very recent personal experience) and is addressed to both girls and guys on: HOW TO BE THE BEST KISSER Ever.

This list is not from a first time kisser (that was an extreme disappointment at 15 when some guy stuck his tongue down my throat). This list is from someone who spent years avoiding perfunctory kisses to a spouse who would become an ex. From a person who never had a kiss (even from aforementioned spouse) where the thought of "what am I doing here?" was not playing prominently over and over in my mind.

I thought it was me, not them.

That I would never experience a kiss as it was intended to be.

But I have. and I do, every single time I am with this person.

When I was 'in the game' again, I would read articles, but they always addressed what made someone a poor kisser, or the relationship ending kissing, or how to lean, open your mouth, but they never addressed the 2 people who are actually involved in the kiss. They missed the 2 most important ingredients. Actually 3. You + Him + chemistry.

Before The Kiss:

1. Why does everyone insist on getting physical SO quickly? Can't you just woo each other a little, tantalize with words, emails, and personality. A first date, a second date. First really LIKE the person. Once physical intimacy is invited into the relationship, it changes the entire dynamic, so you may want to establish what that dynamic is before you confuse things with hands all over each other.
2. Anticipate! Heck yes, watch greatest kissing scenes on youtube repeatedly, if your future kissing partner follows you on a social media sites drop an occasional hint of what you are watching or songs you are listening to, so he /she knows where your head is. That's hot.

The Kiss:

1. Don't kiss just when you think NOW it should happen or it makes sense. I had a hard time waiting any longer, and had to ask "can we kiss??" Then he leaned over and whispered "good things come to those who wait". Postponing the event only heightened the anticipation.
2. Loosen up and smile a little when it actually occurs. This way, if a slight tilt (or in my case, a slightly less open mouth) is desired, you are already being playful, so it's much easier to quickly get what you want instead of writing someone off for something easily fixable.
3. Don't come up for air. Of course, come up for air, but keep the 'ONLY kissing' session going for as long as you can. The longer you kiss someone you are into, the more you begin to blend together and the more connected you become. No small pecking will do. I'm talking 30 minutes! How to do that? Read on...
4. Mix it up a lot. Start off kissing softly, then with more energy and need, then introduce some tongue, then back to soft kisses, then talk for a minute, then start it over again...whatever feels good, but mixing it up will help prolong the kissing session.
5. The tongue - here is where it gets tricky, because something done wrong here can ruin a good thing. NEVER start off with the tongue, in fact I would keep it out of the picture for a good ten minutes. Then, when you do, because people and preferences are so varied, only slide it in for a short period of time - 10 seconds maybe and continue as before. You may be able to feel / sense a reaction to the tongue and can then gage whether a repeat and longer appearance would be appreciated. If you think so, keep her waiting just a little bit, and then your saliva will be like an orgasm of the mouth.
6. Keep an open mind. If you really like this person, and they have a good attitude, one of the greatest pleasures in a relationship is knowing there is that much more to discover about each other, including that which you will teach each other. I learn from my significant other daily about his likes, dislikes, needs, desires, fantasies, and it is revealed to me in little spurts so that we continually get closer. I couldn't know all this at the first kiss, but I knew to have patience for everything that was yet to come... and still is.

If I had to repeat any of the above it would be get excited, yet still have an open mind.

Now I know all you fairy tale bashers are lining up to tell me that anticipation most often ends in unmet expectations, Cinderella complex has dashed our hopes of having successful relationships, but bad relationships is really to blame. Bad relationships that occur because people jump in the sack BEFORE they get to know each other, because they attach themselves to each other emotionally BEFORE they know if they have any compatibility. The secret to success is when you combine expectations with genuine affection for the other person (which rarely is apparent on a first, second, third dates), then you work together to make it the best ever for you both.

Kissing someone and thinking about how happy I am and when will be our next kiss, even as we are kissing, is FANTASTIC. You all deserve that.

Good things come to those who wait!